Annie went back home to Massachusetts yesterday. Take care of business, see the fam, that sort of thing. I'd told her I wouldn't do the big head shave until she got back Saturday, but it turns out it had to happen today.
Nick and I were out front having Yard Time when I turned to look down at the pillow I'd been laying on. It looked like there were a few too many extra hairs lying there. I ran my fingers through my hair and came back with, again, a few too many. No clumps, thank God, but enough to send me running for the clippers.
Since I've had my head shaved before—see blog entry Diagnosis—this was not a traumatizing experience for me. I actually quite like the way it feels to have air touching my scalp.
After the shave, we went rummaging around in my mom's old silk scarves to prepare for my future role in cancer fashion.
Nick turned out to be a very sophisticated stylist—I'd expect nothing less, really—and told me if I practice my scarfing for 15 minutes a day "until I really need it," I'll be a classy Old Hollywood scarf-wearing beauty in no time. I love that man.
In other news, my oncologist has freed me from the bacon diet. Well, as much as I want to be freed. He said that any weight over 120 was perfectly healthy (I think I'm almost to 127 now) and that he wouldn't start worrying until I get to less than 110. Less than 110! That hardly seems possible. So, I can ease off that fast-food bender I never actually went on, and be comfortable knowing my body is in an ok place.
I still stuff myself more than is comfortable most days, just knowing I'm going to need any extra layers I can get, but at least the Vigilant Hamburger isn't coming after me anymore.
I've also got the good graces of the oncologist to join the cancer wellness program at the local gym! The "program" is actually sort of a joke, as they don't have any special classes or specialized trainers to work with cancer patients, but I do get a free membership with my doctor's recommendation.
I met with a trainer who sees all new members, and he helped me pick out a strength-training routine I can do whenever I feel well enough.
After all this intensely focused eating, I have the urge to do more than just accumulate new fat around my middle. I can tell that I've lost so much strength and muscle mass already. Honestly, my ass is just like two little flaps in the breeze. I would love it if all this energy I'm taking in could be spread throughout my body and put to good use. If, at the very least, I could maintain this level of muscle mass, or something close to it, I'd be very happy. I'd hate to crawl out in October with no flesh on my bones and then say, "hmm, looks like it's time to get down to the gym!"
Plus Annie has also joined the gym and it's so much more fun to go with a buddy.
And, now that I have my head shaved, I'm going to look really badass when I'm working out there. Really GI Jane. Hopefully nobody will notice I'm struggling to pull down 10-lb weights on the machines!