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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

September Setbacks

Reunion Faces
One thing I feel tremendously grateful for is that our wedding—and the entire time I spent in Mass, reuniting with friends and family—was completely carefree. Cancer couldn't have been further from my mind. All I was thinking about was celebration, and the feeling of coming back full circle to greet the people I'd never gotten a chance to say goodbye to in the first place.
Of course, everyone had the same question for me: when are you coming back for good?
"Oh, about six months," I'd say casually. "Just gotta go back and get this stem-cell thing done with, snip-snap, and as soon as I've recovered I'll be back! Probably right around the end of winter, don't see a need to rush back for February, ha-ha."
However, there was a hidden subtext in my response that I didn't understand at the time. That subtext was: This cancer is in the bag. I've got this under control. It's all going to go exactly as planned, I'm sure of it.
The thing is, five days after we returned to California, I learned that cancer is never in the bag, except maybe several years into remission. Or perhaps longer than that, I'm not sure. I have no control. Plans are made to be changed. And nothing is guaranteed.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Marriage in Massachusetts

Our wedding was perfect.
As a recovering perfectionist, I don't take that word lightly. Most of the time, there is almost always some detail that could be improved upon, some fault to be found if you look hard enough.
But I would not change a thing about our wedding. Not one single moment.

It felt as if the seas parted just for us, to make our wedding possible. Hurricane Irene came and went, just in time. The sun came back out, the floodwaters receded, the roads were opened and the flowers and the caterer both survived the deluge. 
No tantrums were thrown, both families got along, everyone looked their best, the food was fantastic and we danced in that barn 'til we couldn't dance no more. 
Best of all, Annie and I were officially joined as Partners In Marriage—at least in the eyes of God, our families, and the State of Massachusetts.